Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Letter to Timothy

News Item:

NEW YORK – The nation's top Catholic bishop (Timothy Dolan) issued a stern challenge to the Obama administration's decision not to support a federal ban on gay marriage, and warned the president that his policies could "precipitate a national conflict between church and state of enormous proportions."

Dear Timothy:

Hope you won’t take this the wrong way, but I think you’re a shit.

Let me see if I’ve got this right. You say “(T)reating gay marriage as a civil right would lead to discrimination against believers…”

Really, Timothy? Did you really say that?

That’s right up there with an opposition to teaching Darwin’s theory of evolution because it would lead to discrimination against believers (sic) of the Genesis version.

You’ve got a right to believe I’m no damn good, and I’ve got to give you free rein because you’re a “believer”?

You want to stand on my foot, but if I cry ouch, it infringes on your right to stand on my foot?

You’ve got balls, Timothy. I’ll give you that.

Can you say “chutzpah”? From the throat, Timothy. Not shutzpah, like that other idiot, Michele Bachmann, says it.

Think, Timothy. Think. The way things work in this country is that one person’s rights end where another person’s rights begin. You remembered that the earth goes around the sun and not the other way around. Maybe you can remember this bit too.

Man, Timothy. For those who want to see the church self-destruct, you’re a dream come true.

God, what an idiot you are.


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