Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Surveying the Troops

Good news. Ever since Inauguration Day, the Obama Administration has had to listen to complaints that he is not acting fast enough to bring full civil rights to gay American men and women. Well, now he has stepped in and endorsed a proposal to hurry up the process of getting Congress to overturn Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell. He actually took some initiative on the issue.

Of course, the fat lady singing moment won’t come until the troops have all been surveyed and given their OK. As CNN reported this morning:

A senior U.S. military official with direct knowledge of the review process said that the Joint Chiefs of Staff remain committed to taking the time to get views from troops. That process has already begun, the official said, noting that a survey will go out shortly to about 70,000 troops and families to solicit their views. In addition, town hall meetings already have been held around the country, and more are expected, while a website provides a place for troops to write in their views.
As always with surveys, the entire thing depends on what questions are asked and how they are worded.

Many people are popping the corks. I am still taking a wait-and-see approach.

Here’s one possible set of survey questions, for example:

1. Do you believe it’s OK for fags to wear the uniform which thousands and thousands of heterosexuals have died for?

2. Do you feel safe sleeping with a fag right next to you?

3. Do you believe it’s reasonable to expect you, if you drop the soap in the shower, not to bend over to pick it up?

4. Do you believe it’s fair to ask you to go out drinking with guys who wear dresses in their free time?

5. Do you believe adding lace curtains to the barracks will enhance troop morale?

6. Do you believe children will be safe if gays are allowed to wear the Purple Heart?

7. Do you think the USO should show movies like Milk, Torch Song Trilogy, and Brokeback Mountain?

8. Do you think it is appropriate for God Bless America to be sung in falsetto?

9. Do you believe thousands of years of Western Civilization should be overturned overnight?

10. Do you believe God wants you to betray the ideals that made your country the best country in the world?

We’ll see how it goes.

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