Following a landmark decision reached last month and announced only today, gay and lesbian subjects of Pitcairn Island will henceforth be permitted
to marry their partners. Governor Kevin Lynch declared this ruling showed how Pitcairn "was adapting to the modern world."
A different conclusion was reached by Archbishop
Bletherington “Blighty” Bligh of the Roman Catholic archdiocese of Pitcairn and descendant of the protectorate's founder, Captain William Bligh, left there by Marlon Brando in 1790. Archbishop Bligh took no time to proclaim that the souls of the fifty mostly Anglo-Tahitian inhabitants
of the British protectorate were now in serious danger, as the nation "begins
its course toward the destruction of the family." There
is some contention over the truth of the claim, since none of the
fifty inhabitants appear to be gay. One
is suspected of lesbianism, but she has lived alone for forty years. “All that could change at the drop of a hat,”
said Archbishop Blighty. His entire
flock consists of himself and two aging priests, converts from the prevailing
Seventh Day Adventist majority, so we know the potential for homosexuality
exists. “And should they both decide to
renounce their vows at the same time, there is no telling what depravity may
follow.”
 |
| Ancestors of the potential homosexuals of Pitcairn Island |
Fortunately, the religious leader observed, there is no
airport and the island is accessible only by sea, so should New Zealanders or
Chileans, Pitcairn’s two closest neighbors, seek to invade the homeland in
order to take advantage of the new ruling, they can easily be pushed back out
to sea.
When reminded that New Zealand already has gay marriage and Chile will recognize civil unions come October, the archbishop hinted there was a moral in that story somewhere.
The island has come a long way since 2004, when half the adult male population was convicted of rape, indecent assault, and gross indecency. Steve Christian, mayor of Pitcairn at the time, was sentenced to three years of imprisonment for five rapes and his son, Randy, went to jail for six years for four rapes and five indecent assaults. The postmaster, Dennis Christian, the island magistrate, was acquitted of charges.
photo credits:
No comments:
Post a Comment